Doctor-best friend Privilege: friends after USU

By Lyndsey Kiss

I was in the fourth month of my second year as a general surgery resident when I found out I was pregnant. I was excited and could not believe I was growing another human being. My plan was to play it cool and not tell anyone for a few weeks.

My plan changed entirely, however, when I found out my good friend, Dr. Sara Drayer, was working the labor and delivery deck that morning. I texted her in that cryptic way that indicates I had some really big news but needed to tell her face to face. She demanded I come over immediately. After I finished my last patient note for that morning I made a beeline her way.

…

Sara (left) and Lyndsey (right) getting their first taste of military
medicine at FTX 101, fall 2011. (Image credit: Lyndsey Kiss)

Sara and I met at Officer Development School the summer of 2011. We were both headed to USU to start medical school. When we discovered we were both headed straight to Bethesda from Newport we decided to explore DC together before school started. We went shopping, tried out new restaurants, and visited the museums downtown. We quickly became inseparable.

A late night study session in the LRC with Lyndsey (foreground)
and Sara (background) in preparation for USMLE step I, winter 
2013 (Image credit: Lyndsey Kiss)

Over the next four years of medical school our bond only grew stronger. During first year we spent hours relentlessly quizzing each other before each exam, sharing all the awkward moments that happened during our “human context” small groups and spending our weekends getting to know the crazy nightlife that is downtown Bethesda. We also co-chaired the 2012 USU Dining Out planning committee which proved to be an unforgettable endeavor. Our other adventures included traveling to England for an operational emergency medicine course, enjoying spring break in Key West, travelling for clerkships together in San Diego and Hawaii, and going on a month-long trip to the Philippines for a surgery elective. We can say we have literally traveled the world together.

Left: Sara (left) and Lyndsey (right) ready for their flight to Manila for a surgery elective in the Philippines, spring 2015. (Image credit: Lyndsey Kiss)
Right: Recipients of the USU Mabuhay Scholarship, Lyndsey and fellow classmates traveled to the Philippines for a surgery elective at the University of the Philippines (UP). While there, they participated in a week-long surgical mission trip to Alabat through UP, spring 2015 (from left to right: Mike Arzamendi, Sara Drayer, Lyndsey Kiss, Andrew Woodhouse). (Image credit: Lyndsey Kiss)

Our paths diverged only in the type of surgery internships for which we wanted to apply. Sara and I both knew shortly after starting our surgery clerkship that the operating room was meant for us, but she was ultimately interested in obstetrics and gynecology, and I in general surgery. We were both matched to our field of choice and lucky enough to both be accepted to San Diego programs.

Sara and Lyndsey adjusting each other’s caps at USU’s Spring 2015 School of Medicine Graduation.
(Image credit: Lyndsey Kiss)

…

Given our history it is hard to imagine that I had even considered not telling Sara my big news right away. When I made it to her on the deck that morning I barely got out a “hello” before blurting out “I’m pregnant!” Her jaw dropped. Not wanting to assume anything, I cautiously asked if she wanted to be my obstetrician. She was shocked. “Are you kidding me?” she said. “This is like if I came to you with appendicitis. Of course I’ll be your OB!”

All of my appointments with Sara were very routine, but I am sure the office staff thought something was wrong with me because at each visit we would spend at least 45 minutes together. We both had gotten so busy with residency the appointments were our only way to catch up. Instead of meeting up for lunch or coffee like normal friends would, we met up for fetal heart tones and fundal height measurements.

Finally the time came to deliver.

Lyndsey, taking overnight call during her second year of general surgery residency at 30 weeks pregnant.
(Image credit: Lyndsey Kiss)

Sara had the day off, but insisted on coming in for me – and I was not going to tell her no. After reviewing baby’s heart tracing it was decided I would need some help getting my labor to move along. Before we started induction Sara sneaked a Subway sandwich past the nurses for me. She knew we were in for the long haul and this would be my last opportunity to eat for a while, despite me hoping for a quick labor. Along with my husband, Sara was by my side for the next 24 hours. She was there as we streamed TV episodes during the lull of early labor and she was there as contractions became so severe I was screaming and crying to my husband that there was no way I could go through with it. Sara was there for everything.

Lyndsey and her husband, a Surface Warfare Officer, in San Diego,
spring 2016. (Image credit: Lyndsey Kiss)

The moment finally came when she had to stop being Sara and start being Dr. Drayer. My labor had not progressed for nearly six hours and the chance that it would progress before the baby started getting distressed was unlikely. She recommended cesarean delivery. I became very upset with myself, I could not hold back my tears. I felt like I was failing. Sara held my hand, explained why this was her recommendation and then respectfully gave me my space with my husband as she gathered the consent forms. My emotions hardly had time to settle before I was wheeled back to the operating room.

Lyndsey, having a difficult time getting close to the operating table
at 34 weeks pregnant. (Image credit: Lyndsey Kiss)

As the doors opened to the OR I heard “Oh, Dr. Kiss it’s you!” I looked around the room. I knew so many faces. I watched Sara as she directed everyone with the confidence I had seen grow in her during our years at USU.  Despite her confidence I was still terrified.

The saying “ignorance is bliss” has a tremendous amount of truth when it comes to surgery. Being a surgery resident makes the whole process so routine it nearly seems benign. Benign is not the word to describe it when surgery is about to be performed on you, however. After anesthesia confirmed my epidural was in place, the blue curtain went up. I was now totally disconnected from the lower half of my body and at the mercy of the girl who had become my best friend six years ago when we first discovered we were both headed to USU.

I was trembling with anxiety as I heard Sara’s voice call out for each instrument. I could not feel it but I knew exactly when she was making her incision through my skin. My husband was next to me, trying to keep me calm, but it was no easy task.

Then I heard it, the first cry of my baby boy. From that point on nothing else mattered.

Murphy Robert Wessels was born May 30, 2017. He was 8lbs 5oz, 21in long. (Image credit: Lyndsey Kiss)

Sara and Murphy (5 weeks old) at a 4th of July BBQ,
summer 2017. (Image credit: Lyndsey Kiss)

The rest of my hospital stay was a bit of a blur. We had visitors come and go, but every morning I saw Sara when she came by to visit all her patients on the ward.

After two weeks of being home and settling in with a newborn, Sara and I were finally able to have lunch. As I was getting Murphy out of the stroller to hold in my lap, I realized I had not yet seen Sara holding him. When I mentioned this she laughed and said, “Lyndsey, I was the first person ever to hold him.” n

Lyndsey, Murphy, and Sara at the Naval Medical Center San Diego, July 2017 (Image credit: Lyndsey Kiss)

Lyndsey Kiss is an alumna from the School of Medicine class of ‘15. She is currently in her third year of general surgery residency at Naval Medical Center San Diego.

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